Before we get into the mechanics of how anal sex works, I just wanted to share some statistics. Surprisingly the US Center For Disease Control (CDC) has quite detailed research on the sex people are having.
Anal sex is way more popular than you might think.
Anal sex is not nearly as hidden or 'taboo' as many may think... With around 4 in 10 people having enjoyed anal sex in their lives, that's huge!
The big hope for me is that they had an experience that was enjoyable!
It's the thousands of pleasure nerves that make anal feel so good!
One of the keys is the diamond of skin from the top of the penis or vagina to just past the anus: The Perineum. This magical area is filled with thousands of special nerve endings.
The buttocks, thighs, sex organs and bum are rich in nerves. The anus has almost as many nerves as the clitoris and the head of the penis. When approached gently, the sensations you can experience can be amazing.
These nerves all intertwine and mix with the nerves that supply the penis and vagina, as well as the muscles that work inside the pelvis.
Gentle massage of the area between the anus and the penis or vagina can trigger some intense sensations, including orgasm.
For guys, the base of the penis sits just in front of the anus. Even the lightest of touch can lead to erections.
#Top Tip: if your guy is struggling to get hard, gently massage, stroke and tease the skin between his balls and ass. This was taught to be my an amazing sex worker. It really works!!
As a prelude to anal play, I highly recommend showering and exploring your skin. Get warm, relaxed and try some different sensations.
There is no need to be inserting anything into the ass just yet. Take some time to explore and learn the feelings in different parts of your body. Grab some lotion and do some gentle exploration.
The Muscles Of The Anus
Now let's have a look at the two most important muscles for anal sex: The internal and external anal sphincters.
This is a short video exert from my recent ass class in Cleveland Ohio.
As mentioned in the video there are 2 muscles that help us keep our bums closed: the external and internal anal sphincters.
The external sphincter, painted purple, is the first muscle you will feel when massaging the anus. It's a muscle that we can consciously control in as much that we can squeeze it closed, however opening is a little more tricky.
If you are running to get to the toilet, it's the external sphincter that will save the day.
Just inside the anus is the internal anal sphincter. It's painted red in the diagram above.
This is the most important muscle when it comes to anal sex.
The internal sphincter is not under our voluntary control. This means we can't directly open or close it.
It's a very clever muscle as it can tell the difference between, solid, liquid and gas! This is why we can do a fart without having an accident.
The role of the internal sphincter is to stay closed. It is responsible for 80% of our continence.
The internal sphincter will open when it is encouraged with gentle pressure and stretch.
Gentle stretch is the key to pain-free anal sex.
When you are starting to explore anal sex you will notice both the internal and external sphincters are usually closed tight.
With gentle exploration and training you can help these muscles to relax to allow a finger, toy or penis to enter.
Today however, I just want you to train the muscles to get used to being touched.
When you first touch the skin around the anus you may notice the hole tightens. This is actually a normal reflex. If you continue with gentle massage the muscles will begin to relax.
Grab some lotion: I recommend a lotion that is not coloured or scented, this chemicals may irritate the area. Sorbelene is perfect for this job! Apply a little to the area and just gently massage around the anus.
As you gently massage, you may be able to feel the different textures. As you get closer to the opening of the anus, you can feel the muscle band of the external anal sphincter (purple circle).
As you continue massage, put a light pressure on the external sphincter. It's marked in purple in the diagram above. After a minute or so you may feel the muscle start to relax. It will feel softer under the tip of your finger.
Don't forget to massage the area of the buttocks and inner thighs. The nerves in these areas are intertwined with the nerves in the anus and genitals. You may notice some pleasurable sensations.
Now before we go anywhere near the opening of the anus, there are a few things we need to talk about to ensure you don't cause any pain or damage. Click below and we can continue.