Anal Sex Myths & Misconceptions

Myth: Anal intercourse is always painful.

  • Fact: If you are able to open your bowels without pain, then anal sex should be able to proceed, also without pain. The keys to pain free anal include feeling ready, gentle muscle relaxation, time and plenty of the right lubrication. Anal sex can be an amazing sensation and with the right preparation, you can have a wonderful, intimate and connected experience with your partner or even by yourself.

Myth: Anal intercourse leads to permanent damage or stretching of the anus.

  • Fact: The muscles of the anus are very robust. When they are treated in the way they are designed to perform, the risk of damage is very low. While the lining of the rectum is a delicate tissue, again, when treated with gentle care and lots of lubrication, tearing, fissures or damage are highly unlikely.
  • The Pain Free Anal training will teach you exactly how the muscles and lining of the anus work and how to maximise pleasure while reducing the risk of damage.

Myth: Anal intercourse is a high-risk way to transmit sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

  • Fact: All forms of intercourse carry a risk of transmitting STIs. However, when you understand how infections are passed, you are able to choose the many options that reduce the chance of infection. These can include risk-free play with toys, barriers like condoms and even medications that can reduce and even eliminate the risk of infections being passed. Every day I am teaching my patients how to enjoy a vibrant sex life without the worry of infections lingering in their minds.

Myth: Only gay men engage in anal intercourse.

  • Fact: Anal intercourse is way more common than people might imagine. More than 50% of women and 41% of men enjoy anal intercourse. There are many men and women who have discovered the amazing sensations experienced with anal penetration. While the media may portray that only gay men indulge in anal play, the truth is anal is enjoyed across many cultures in the world.

Myth: Anal intercourse always results in bowel incontinence.

  • Fact: Engaging in anal intercourse should not lead to bowel incontinence when approached with understanding. Yes, the muscles of the anus can be damaged however, this almost always happens in the context of violent, unprepared sexual experiences. When you experience anal with a relaxed and educated approach, the risk of damage to the muscles of the anus and pelvis is easily eliminated.

Myth: Using numbing agents or desensitizing creams during anal intercourse is safe and advisable.

  • Fact: Numbing agents or desensitizing creams can mask pain or discomfort during anal intercourse. This can increase the risk of injury. It's important to rely on communication, consent, proper lubrication, and gradual, comfortable, relaxed penetration rather than numbing agents.

Myth: Anal intercourse is the primary cause of hemorrhoids.

  • Fact: Haemorrhoids can result from various factors, including genetics, constipation, and straining during bowel movements. When there is penetration with plenty of lubrication as well as time to allow the muscles to relax, the risk of haemorrhoids is greatly reduced. If you do have hemorrhoids, there are many ways you can greatly reduce the chance of making them worse.

Myth: Anal intercourse is inherently unclean or unsanitary.

  • Fact: For most people, the rectum, the last part of the gut, is usually empty. If you have a diet with plenty of fibre and keep well hydrated, the anal passage is easily cleared when you open your bowels.
  • Of course, there is always a risk of poo being present; however, the timing of your intercourse as well as simple ways you can prepare can greatly reduce the chances of accidents.
  • It’s important to understand that poo can be a consequence of anal. Going in with a light-hearted and understanding approach makes any mishaps easily cleared up, and you can get back into your play. I cover the importance of timing and how meals and diet can impact your sex, as well as quick and simple ways to “clean out” in the Pain-Free Anal course.